Taking some time off

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Clara and I have been putting this off for a long time, quite literally one year at this point, but it is time for both of us to step away from Cripz on a potentially-permanent basis. We really, really enjoyed working on this comic together and hope you enjoyed it too. Will we come back to it? We both want to but other life commitments just make it unfeasible at this point. Maybe next summer, if we can find some time, we’ll put together a mini storyline so you can catch up with the gang.

In the meantime, Jeff is going to be trying to more actively maintain his blog over at www.jeffpreston.ca where you can hear his musings on politics (local and otherwise), the media, disability and his research. Don’t be a stranger, come over and say howdy!

All that remains to be said, really, is thank you for your support these past few years and we’ll see you when we see you!

Clara and I have been putting this off for a long time, quite literally one year at this point, but it is time for both of us to step away from Cripz on a potentially-permanent basis. We really, really enjoyed working on this comic together and hope you enjoyed it too. Will we come back […]

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Fun with Photoshop in London

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It is either the stupidest mistake ever made or the most elaborate troll in the history of London. I am, of course, referencing the recent discovery that some photo peon inserted a poorly photoshopped image of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag skating into the 2011 London Annual Report (as seen on LFPress).

Doctored photo used in the 2011 Annual Report

Seems legit, I see them at the market all the time.

I am honestly completely and totally baffled by this decision. I have no words to explain this, but I think John Flemming, quoted city planner, is on to something here. He said the image was to be “a visionary image of what could be the possibilities.” That is a brilliant strategy to attract people to London. What is possible? Everything is possible with a little Speidi!

So in that vein I’ve decided to do some free photoshopping for London City Council. Feel free to use any of these, free of charge, in the 2012 Annual Report, guys. Please leave your own contributions below and I’ll insert them into the post.

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London is the city of (photoshopped) opportunity

It is either the stupidest mistake ever made or the most elaborate troll in the history of London. I am, of course, referencing the recent discovery that some photo peon inserted a poorly photoshopped image of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag skating into the 2011 London Annual Report (as seen on LFPress). I am honestly completely […]

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Some parting thoughts on Troll Hunting 2011

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Troll Hunter (2011) movie poster

A look back at some lessons learned from an encounter with a troll. Read More

Troll Hunter movie poster

A look back at some lessons learned from an encounter with a troll.

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To catch a troll

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As some of you probably know, I had a bit of a run-in with an Internet troll earlier this week. In my attempt to hire a new aid, I put up a job posting on kijiji. Unfortunately, a little brat decided to respond saying “I’m interested in taking care of your retard. is he fully derp, or just kinda.” Curiously, this particular individual decided, instead of using a fake email address, to use the one connected to his Facebook page which included photos and information like his mailing address. Trolling 101, Joshua Cottrell, don’t use your real email address!

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Screenshot of email reading "I'm interested in taking care of your retard. Is he full derp, or just kinda?"

As some of you probably know, I had a bit of a run-in with an Internet troll earlier this week. In my attempt to hire a new aid, I put up a job posting on kijiji. Unfortunately, a little brat decided to respond saying “I’m interested in taking care of your retard. is he fully […]

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It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp

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It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp

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Jeff can’t even imagine what high school would have been like with the social networking technology available to teens now-a-days. Sexting definitely complicates the dating world a bit…although Jeff probably would have still spent most of his nights playing video games. Nerd.

TRANSCRIPT:

Cell 01
Flirty girl trying to ignore Tyler.

Tyler:
Yo, baby. Did you get my text earlier? The one with the picture of my abs and the message “Wanna do some laundry 2nite?”

Cell 02
Flirty girl still ignoring him, looking uncomfortable.

Tyler:
Well? Baby, I just wanna bust out the bounce sheets and tide you bounty.

Cell 03

Flirty Girl (embarrassed):
Can you just leave me alone?

Cell 04

Tyler:
Pfft. Bitch. Whatever you’re ugly anyway. I was just trying to do you a favour…

Cell 05

Kate:
Hey Tyler, is it hard being such a shining example of humanity? Your mother must be so proud…

Cell 06

Tyler:
Shut it Komichi, you’re not much better.

Cell 07

Kate:
Don’t worry, Tyler, I’m sure some day you’ll find true love.

Cell 08

Kate:
When you’re older, you’ll meet a lovely woman who steals your heart. Sure, she’ll think you’re a dirt bag but I’m sure you’ll devise some way to capture and lock her in your basement for a few years.

Cell 09

Kate:
Then she’ll escape, you’ll go to jail forever–no doubt stabbed to death during a dispute over cigarettes–and the world will be all the better with one less man whose is such a charming, but fragile, little snowflake.

It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp

Jeff can’t even imagine what high school would have been like with the social networking technology available to teens now-a-days. Sexting definitely complicates the dating world a bit…although Jeff probably would have still spent most of his nights playing video games. Nerd. TRANSCRIPT: Cell 01 Flirty girl trying to ignore Tyler. Tyler: Yo, baby. Did […]

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Change

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Harrister

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On October 6th, don’t ignore the invisible gorilla.

Change

On October 6th, don’t ignore the invisible gorilla.

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Don’t Ignore the Invisible Gorilla

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Humans are crap at multitasking. There I said it. I’m not talking chewing bubble gum and walking at the same time, but the real stuff–like trying to talk to someone while you’re reading a book. People chortle on about how great they are at multitasking but, believe me, they are lying to themselves (and, more importantly, you).

Cover of the Invisible Gorilla

And the Gorilla was like: “Huh. Did you know they sell bananas at the JLC now?” And Chris Moorhead was like: “My lawyer told me not to talk about it.”

In fact, a study was done by two professors at the University of Illinois into our ability to process information, in an experiment now dubbed “The Invisible Gorilla,” to show how people can miss important information if they’re too focused on one specific task. Essentially, participants were asked to watch a video of people dressed in white shirts and black shirts and to count how many times people with white shirts passed a basketball. About halfway through the video, someone dressed in a gorilla suit walks through the screen, thumps their chest and growls, finally exiting stage left. When asked afterwards, participants could normally tell you how many passes were made, but over half the participants had no idea a gorilla had walked through the stage. More importantly, when the tape was shown to them again they couldn’t believe they’d missed something so obvious. I’m going to be honest with you, I totally missed the gorilla too when I watched the video the first time.

This might seem like just a kooky psych experiment, but I think it holds particular import right now as we close in on October 6th. Here in Ontario, there is a gorilla beating his chest in the middle of the screen and, somehow, a ton of us have missed it.

Let me take you back to the 90s. Remember those times? The Leafs weren’t terrible yet, Saved by the Bell and Fresh Prince were still on TV. Life was pretty good. Except there was this man named Mike Harris in charge. A man who thought it was a dumb idea to provide funding for things like schools and hospitals, so he chopped and slashed and closed a bunch of them down. Remember that guy? Remember how we promised ourselves we would never, ever vote for the party that gutted our social services? If so, why are some 34% of Ontarians considering voting for the Progressive Conservatives next week?

Tim Hudak's face on a gorilla

The size of his cranium indicates he’d make a good leader. Either that or he’s ready to mate.

Despite what you think of Dalton or Andrea, the most terrifying proposition here is Tim “I Love Mike Harris” Hudak. If you can believe it, before being elected the head of the PC Party in Ontario, Hudak’s platform was essentially that he was a proud Harrisite. Oh good gravy, Mike Harris is back and he’s wearing a Tim Hudak suit.

Through the constant “We Can’t Afford Dalton” commercials, to the conservative candidates not showing up to local debates, the Conservatives are clearly running a pretty simple campaign–don’t look at the man behind the curtain.

My only hope is that when Ontarians step into the voter box on the 6th they aren’t so busy counting how many passes are made to miss the man in the Hudak suit, thumping his chest directly in front of us.

Two gorillas fighting with light sabers

Humans are crap at multitasking. There I said it. I’m not talking chewing bubble gum and walking at the same time, but the real stuff–like trying to talk to someone while you’re reading a book. People chortle on about how great they are at multitasking but, believe me, they are lying to themselves (and, more importantly, you). […]

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Part-time Job

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Part-time Job

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I’m just thankful I have the proper permits…those mall cops take those stickers quite seriously. In other news, what exactly has Griff killed for?

TRANSCRIPT:

Cell 01

Rhett:
Are you going to sign up for ODSP?

Cell 02

Griff:
I’m stackin’ too much paper my part-time job so I don’t qualify.

Cell 03

Griff:
S’okay though, I kinda dig gettin’ my swag the ol’ fashion way. Got a real sweet position too. Lots of authority.

Cell 04
Image of Griff rolling up to a mother and two young kids at the wheelchair table in the food court.

Griff:
Ma’am, you got a proper permit to be sitting at the handicapped table?

Woman:
Um, no? We’re just eating lunch.

Cell 05
Griff pulls out a crowbar.

Griff:
Ya’ll best be steppin’ off then. And if you be resistin’, I’m not above brutalizing a woman in front of her progeny.

Cell 06
Woman and children running away, Griff looking philosophical.

Griff:
People be thinkin’ this sticker is just a joke or something. It ain’t. I’ve killed for less, lady.

Part-time Job

I’m just thankful I have the proper permits…those mall cops take those stickers quite seriously. In other news, what exactly has Griff killed for? TRANSCRIPT: Cell 01 Rhett: Are you going to sign up for ODSP? Cell 02 Griff: I’m stackin’ too much paper my part-time job so I don’t qualify. Cell 03 Griff: S’okay though, […]

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ODSP

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ODSP

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Hrm. This program sounds kind of familiar.

TRANSCRIPT:

Cell 01

CAPTION: After School…

Principle:
Now, Rhett, Mr. Harlem tells me you had some…ahem…choice…words regarding F.A.T.S?

Cell 02

Harlem:
Tell’um that mumbo jumbo you’ve been spewing all afternoon.

Rhett:
Converting physical labour into fetishized commodity is against the rules of nature.

Cell 03

Principle:
I think I understand what’s going on; you’re just worried you won’t be able to participate on account of your afflictions.

Rhett:
Afflictions? No, it’s Marxism.

Cell 04

Principle:
Right, Marxism. Well you don’t need to worry son, we won’t let your Marxism get in the way of you earning some F.A.T.S. It just so happens I have a great idea.

Cell 05

Principle:
Any student who can’t earn F.A.T.S because of their “problems” will be put in a program that awards them some F.A.T.S every month—not as much as the people working really hard, of course, but just enough to get by.

Cell 06

Harlem:
That’s a terrible idea, ripe for abuse. People who aren’t disabled will try and get on and the disabled will just find ways to con the system.

Cell 07

Principle:
We’ll just have a rigorous screening process that goes into exorbitant, humiliating, detail about medical history and such. You know, just pages and pages of forms and paper work to prove you’re of an arbitrarily decided qualifying disability. Of course, they’ll also need to continually prove their disablement…just in case they get cured or something.

Cell 08

Principle:
And we’ll make them report their income—I’m sure they won’t mind giving us complete oversight and rigorous controls over their finances. And if they go over the monthly limit, even by just 5 tokens, we’ll just clawed back their monthly allocation and repeat offenders will get kicked off. That way no one can get rich off the program.

Cell 09

Principle:
And we shall call this service “Obviously Disabled Special Points,” ODSP for short.

Rhett:
I think you may have misunderstood my concerns…

ODSP

Hrm. This program sounds kind of familiar. TRANSCRIPT: Cell 01 CAPTION: After School… Principle: Now, Rhett, Mr. Harlem tells me you had some…ahem…choice…words regarding F.A.T.S? Cell 02 Harlem: Tell’um that mumbo jumbo you’ve been spewing all afternoon. Rhett: Converting physical labour into fetishized commodity is against the rules of nature. Cell 03 Principle: I think […]

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Forced Labour

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Forced Labour

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This episode is dedicated to the fine folks at rTraction, a local web design company, who donate SO much time, money and energy to making London a better place. You don’t see that too often from a private business and they’re a business we can and should be really proud of.

Keep up the great work over there 🙂

TRANSCRIPT:

Cell 01

Principal:
It’s come to our attention that at some point over the summer, many of you have developed a bit of an unhealthy weight problem.

Harlem:
You’ve ballooned out like a Palin kid before their wedding.

Cell 02

Principal:
Um. Yes, well, we’ve decided it’s our responsibility as educators to help combat the plague of obesity that’s befallen our school and are proud to announce a new program to help us in this fight.

Cell 03

Principal:
After this assembly, you will all be given custom debit cards. Every time you complete some form of physical activity you will be awarded points for the “Fitness and Activity Token System.” Walk to school? You earn F.A.T.S. Take phys ed? You get F.A.T.S. Join a sports team? You’ll be rolling in F.A.T.S.

Cell 04

Principal:
Thanks to a wonderful donation from local web developer we have opened a brand new store in the cafeteria where you can use your hard earned F.A.T.S for everything from electronics to clothing.

Cell 05

Principal:
Physical labour will get you cool stuff, while at the same time helping you get healthy. Our entire school will now be a functioning economy run on F.A.T.S.

Cell 06

Harlem:
Get ready to sweat, fatties, because your bubble butts have blown their last butt bubble.

Forced Labour

This episode is dedicated to the fine folks at rTraction, a local web design company, who donate SO much time, money and energy to making London a better place. You don’t see that too often from a private business and they’re a business we can and should be really proud of. Keep up the great […]

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