Definitions of Truth

0 No Comments
Definitions of Truth

Click to enlarge

It’s interesting how people can leave out/manipulate facts to support their arguments. Che Guevara was a bad man because he murdered people. Barack Obama is a good President because he isn’t closing down Guantanamo Bay as promised.

Fact really just depends on how you look at things.

Having said that, it’s a fact that Sessionals are cannibals. I’m looking in your direction, Michael Daubs.

This concludes Season 3 of Cripz; we hope everyone liked it. Check back next week for the beginning of Season 4, which promises to be bigger and better than ever! Or at least promises new episodes with marginally better jokes. Okay…well, there will be drawings of wheelchairs, that much we can promise.

TRANSCRIPT

Cell 01

Rhett:
…and with that, the Zapatista movement of the Chiapas, Mexico, achieved victory. None of this could be possible without the heroic actions of the masked man, Subcommendente Marcos, a presumed farmer who rose up and boldly said to the capitalists “Get your hands off me, you damn, dirty, apes.” Questions?

Cell 02

Kate:
Wait, that happened back in 1994…is anything really different in Mexico now? I’d hardly call chilling in the jungle and releasing essays and decrees a revolution when Vincente Fox stayed in power and capitalism still reigns…

Cell 03

Rhett:
Ah, but Fox did lose power and left office.

Granted, it was because he lost an election…but we all know it was the EZLN that brought the defeat about.

Cell 04

Kate:
Isn’t Calderon just as, if not more, conservative than Fox? And what’s more, isn’t it widely agreed that Subcommendente Marcos is actually a professor and, as such, likely wealthy?

Cell 05

Rhett:
That’s what the FBI wants you to think. Besides, do you have any idea how much professor’s make now-a-days? They might as well be farmers.

Cell 06

Rhett:
Only problem is that farmers can at least eat their crops if money is tight. If a prof did that it’d be cannibalism.

Although, I’m sure some Sessionals have considered eating their TAs—grad students will do anything if they think it’ll get them a job after…