Forced Labour

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Forced Labour

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This episode is dedicated to the fine folks at rTraction, a local web design company, who donate SO much time, money and energy to making London a better place. You don’t see that too often from a private business and they’re a business we can and should be really proud of.

Keep up the great work over there 🙂

TRANSCRIPT:

Cell 01

Principal:
It’s come to our attention that at some point over the summer, many of you have developed a bit of an unhealthy weight problem.

Harlem:
You’ve ballooned out like a Palin kid before their wedding.

Cell 02

Principal:
Um. Yes, well, we’ve decided it’s our responsibility as educators to help combat the plague of obesity that’s befallen our school and are proud to announce a new program to help us in this fight.

Cell 03

Principal:
After this assembly, you will all be given custom debit cards. Every time you complete some form of physical activity you will be awarded points for the “Fitness and Activity Token System.” Walk to school? You earn F.A.T.S. Take phys ed? You get F.A.T.S. Join a sports team? You’ll be rolling in F.A.T.S.

Cell 04

Principal:
Thanks to a wonderful donation from local web developer we have opened a brand new store in the cafeteria where you can use your hard earned F.A.T.S for everything from electronics to clothing.

Cell 05

Principal:
Physical labour will get you cool stuff, while at the same time helping you get healthy. Our entire school will now be a functioning economy run on F.A.T.S.

Cell 06

Harlem:
Get ready to sweat, fatties, because your bubble butts have blown their last butt bubble.