Dumb it Down

Dumb it Down
Dumb it Down
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Because we’re asked so friggin often why we’re in wheelchairs, many of my disabled friends have thought up clever origin stories, which are complete fabrications, to tell the walkies when they ask why we’re in a chair. I suppose it’s not a very nice thing to do and a mature person would just be honest and minimize the importance of the diagnosis…but man it’s fun watching their faces–they always believe us!

Some of my favourites? This are all fabricated stories that friends of mine have told people (who know who you are, jerks).

One of my friends tells people he’s in a wheelchair because a bear mauled him, eating all 4 of his limbs  and leaving him to use an electric wheelchair to get around.

Another tells people he was an undercover police officer who was shot multiple times during a drug bust gone bad.

And I used to tell people that I once waved at a man on a motorcycle who was driving by, he waved back, lost control, and smashed into me.

Now I just tell people I could walk until that one fateful day I made Clara angry, then get really quiet and look around nervously.