Tim Hudak on Foreigners

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Tim Hudak on Foreigners

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Hrm. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard this speech before? I’m sure there’s a logical explanation

Like last election, we’re going to be putting up weekly attack ads on Mondays, except this time they will all be focused on Tim Hudak because, seriously, we can’t let this guy win.

Tim Hudak on Foreigners

Hrm. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard this speech before? I’m sure there’s a logical explanation… Like last election, we’re going to be putting up weekly attack ads on Mondays, except this time they will all be focused on Tim Hudak because, seriously, we can’t let this guy win.

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Join the Army

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Join the Army

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Dear Michigan Militia who may be reading this comic.

Please don’t mistake us for Red Coats the next time we’re in Michigan.

Thank you,

Jeff & Clara

PS: Welcome to Season 4 of Cripz. Yay!

TRANSCRIPT:

Cell 01

CAPTION: First day back to school

Rhett:
Man, it feels like we just left this place…

Griff:
Yooo, Gordo! How was your summer, man? Do anything fun?

Cell 02

Gordo:
Surprisingly. Left this god-forsaken town. Did a pre-packaged vacation.

Rhett:
Oh ya? Where’d you go? Europe?

Gordo:
Michigan. Militia Compound. One month.

Cell 03

Gordo:
Really looked forward to it too. Spend time with my kinda people; gun owning, freedom loving patriots.

Not the granola munching, Marx humping, science-o-philes we got up here in Canuckistan.

Cell 04

Gordo:
But low and behold, when I arrived I discovered something was rotten in the state of Michigan—they’d gone soft. None of them had even killed someone before. If you haven’t spilled blood before how can we trust you to do it when King George comes back to get what’s his?

Cell 05

Gordo:
The whole lot of them had gone soft since 1776. It was my responsibility, my duty to the home of the brave and land of the free, to whip these lard asses back into shape.

Cell 06

CAPTION: First, I had to get rid of the current commander. With him out of the way, taking the throne would be a piece of cake.

Militia Man:
This is bull-crap. Do I look like Osama bin Laden? We killed that guy months ago!

FBI Agent:
This is for your own safety, sir. Bin Laden has magical powers we can’t even begin to understand…

Cell 07

CAPTION: Next, I had to implement a new fitness and nutrition regiment.

Gordo (standing on a dead bear with a bite out of it):
You kill it, you eat it.

Cell 08

CAPTION: But when I starting teaching them how to properly interrogate a captured enemy they said the militia wasn’t “fun” anymore and they kicked me out.

Gordo (holding a bucket and towel as they walk away):
Can’t take a little water boarding, you babies?!

Cell 09

Gordo:
So I decided to take my ball and go home. And their balls too…and by balls I mean assault rifles. Good luck stop the red coats now, you ragamuffins.

Join the Army

Dear Michigan Militia who may be reading this comic. Please don’t mistake us for Red Coats the next time we’re in Michigan. Thank you, Jeff & Clara PS: Welcome to Season 4 of Cripz. Yay! TRANSCRIPT: Cell 01 CAPTION: First day back to school Rhett: Man, it feels like we just left this place… Griff: […]

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Definitions of Truth

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Definitions of Truth

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It’s interesting how people can leave out/manipulate facts to support their arguments. Che Guevara was a bad man because he murdered people. Barack Obama is a good President because he isn’t closing down Guantanamo Bay as promised.

Fact really just depends on how you look at things.

Having said that, it’s a fact that Sessionals are cannibals. I’m looking in your direction, Michael Daubs.

This concludes Season 3 of Cripz; we hope everyone liked it. Check back next week for the beginning of Season 4, which promises to be bigger and better than ever! Or at least promises new episodes with marginally better jokes. Okay…well, there will be drawings of wheelchairs, that much we can promise.

TRANSCRIPT

Cell 01

Rhett:
…and with that, the Zapatista movement of the Chiapas, Mexico, achieved victory. None of this could be possible without the heroic actions of the masked man, Subcommendente Marcos, a presumed farmer who rose up and boldly said to the capitalists “Get your hands off me, you damn, dirty, apes.” Questions?

Cell 02

Kate:
Wait, that happened back in 1994…is anything really different in Mexico now? I’d hardly call chilling in the jungle and releasing essays and decrees a revolution when Vincente Fox stayed in power and capitalism still reigns…

Cell 03

Rhett:
Ah, but Fox did lose power and left office.

Granted, it was because he lost an election…but we all know it was the EZLN that brought the defeat about.

Cell 04

Kate:
Isn’t Calderon just as, if not more, conservative than Fox? And what’s more, isn’t it widely agreed that Subcommendente Marcos is actually a professor and, as such, likely wealthy?

Cell 05

Rhett:
That’s what the FBI wants you to think. Besides, do you have any idea how much professor’s make now-a-days? They might as well be farmers.

Cell 06

Rhett:
Only problem is that farmers can at least eat their crops if money is tight. If a prof did that it’d be cannibalism.

Although, I’m sure some Sessionals have considered eating their TAs—grad students will do anything if they think it’ll get them a job after…

Definitions of Truth

It’s interesting how people can leave out/manipulate facts to support their arguments. Che Guevara was a bad man because he murdered people. Barack Obama is a good President because he isn’t closing down Guantanamo Bay as promised. Fact really just depends on how you look at things. Having said that, it’s a fact that Sessionals […]

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Healthy Body Image

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Healthy Body Image

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We think Drake might be a bit misinformed about why women get breast reduction surgery…

Yep. He actually said that. You can check out the full interview here.

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Healthy Body Image

We think Drake might be a bit misinformed about why women get breast reduction surgery… Yep. He actually said that. You can check out the full interview here.

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Slut Walk

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Slut Walk

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Although not related in content, this one goes out to all the Backyard Chicken fans who didn’t get their wish at City Council tonight. Oh, also goes out to the dude who scored a big bonus in the Mayors office. Tax freeze?

 

Slut Walk

Although not related in content, this one goes out to all the Backyard Chicken fans who didn’t get their wish at City Council tonight. Oh, also goes out to the dude who scored a big bonus in the Mayors office. Tax freeze?  

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Pros and Cons of Internet Research

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Pros and Cons of Internet Research

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Jeff wasn’t sure what to say on this blog. Clara suggested to just say “Sup, here’s an episode.”

So, S’up? Here’s an episode.

Also, this episode goes out to all the awesome players who attended the CEWHA Allied Cup Electric Wheelchair Hockey Tournament in London this previous weekend. It was an awesome tournament and Jeff made a ton of new friends. Also, London won for the first time ever. Huzzah!

 

Pros and Cons of Internet Research

Jeff wasn’t sure what to say on this blog. Clara suggested to just say “Sup, here’s an episode.” So, S’up? Here’s an episode. Also, this episode goes out to all the awesome players who attended the CEWHA Allied Cup Electric Wheelchair Hockey Tournament in London this previous weekend. It was an awesome tournament and Jeff […]

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Uncivil Obedience

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Uncivil Obedience

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We’ve always been curious about what you could get away with playing the cripple card. Missed appointment? Sure. Late assignment? Maybe. Bombed exam? Possible. Trashing a store? Not so sure. One can hope though, right?

Uncivil Obedience

We’ve always been curious about what you could get away with playing the cripple card. Missed appointment? Sure. Late assignment? Maybe. Bombed exam? Possible. Trashing a store? Not so sure. One can hope though, right?

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Cripz Goes to the Movies: Captain America

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Captain America

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With the recent release of blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger, it seemed only fitting to take a swipe at it. We think the movie would have been much better if this is how the experiment had turned out…

It’s a shame there weren’t any disabled characters in the movie. Why don’t they ever have disabled super heroes, I wonder?

Oh wait, this is might be why…
httpv://youtu.be/sEaTFKG4IHs

Captain America

With the recent release of blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger, it seemed only fitting to take a swipe at it. We think the movie would have been much better if this is how the experiment had turned out… It’s a shame there weren’t any disabled characters in the movie. Why don’t they ever have […]

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World Tissues

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World Issues

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I think perhaps the only thing more beautiful than the rebel motorcycle guy is the forgiving parents who allow their daughter this one bit of “rebellion” with the expectation that she’ll “settle down” eventually.

World Issues

I think perhaps the only thing more beautiful than the rebel motorcycle guy is the forgiving parents who allow their daughter this one bit of “rebellion” with the expectation that she’ll “settle down” eventually.

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Washington Trip – Day 12 – The Final Countdown

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Today is our last full day in Washington and the plan was to take it relatively easy as we have a solid +14h drive home to Port Elgin tomorrow. The plan was to get up and hit Georgetown University to check out the bookstore and then a quick hop back to the mall to finish up any and all museums we might have missed.

Things started out smooth enough, getting up early and making the walk over to campus. Once again, we were totally floored by the beauty of Georgetown and the Georgetown University campus. It kind of made us wish we’d headed down south for our undergrad…that is until we discovered it was essentially a living monument to staircases. In fact, we even found a sign for the Services for Disabled Students Office which was, we kid you not, at the bottom of a 40-odd step flight of stairs. Lost and alone, we finally decided to ask a security guard for directions, but instead of answering he pretended Jeff was a ghost and kept walking, as though a small but loud boy in a wheelchair hadn’t just spoken to him. It was uncanny, his ability to act as though nothing had happened. Just as Jeff was about to turn away and verify that he hadn’t in fact died without noticing and turned spectral, the guard muttered “follow me” and put us back on track. The bookstore was pretty great although we didn’t manage to find much we were looking for…but Jeff did discover he got a brand new copy of the Disability Studies Reader for about $10 more than they are selling it here used. Score.

After lunch, we got our first real taste of a good ol’ American thunderstorm and were unfortunately storm stayed for much of the afternoon. Luckily we’d already hit a lot of our big targets and so, despite not going to dinner with Obama, we feel pretty satisfied with what we managed to do despite having one day stuck indoors.

When the storm finally passed, we headed out for an early dinner and wandered Georgetown a little more. At dinner, we ran into a delightful chap who once again left us a bit star struck, as it turned out he was the Assistant Producer of the first two Superman movies. He also went on to explain how he loved Canada, especially British Columbia, and how lucky we were to live in such a beautiful country. That is actually a theme of this trip that popped up without us really noticing–Americans love British Columbia. Looks like that whole hockey riot stuff didn’t get a lot of play down here.

Full of dinner and amazing desserts from Georgetown’s life-changing Baked & Wired cupcake/coffee shop, we decided to retreat to the hotel for an early bedtime. We’re planning to head out early tomorrow morning to beat the rush and, hopefully, get back to Canada before the sun sets. Google is claiming the drive will take 13 hours if we swing through Detroit, but we’ll see what the GPS has to say in the morning.

For now, all that’s left is sleep and get ready for a long day on the road. Jeff hopes to put together some final reflections on the trip sometime this weekend, but in short this trip was pretty illuminating. First and foremost, Americans aren’t all crazy…although they are kinda fat and lazy. What was perhaps most enlightening was the vast diversity of this country–for a place that focuses on the “melting pot” there is just an amazing swath of people, personalities and backgrounds cobbled together to make this country. Although they face some tremendous challenges going forward, we feel this isn’t necessarily an empire in decline, but rather, a nation in flux, awaiting to emerge. What comes out the other side of this tumultuous cocoon is anyone’s guess, but we think they’ll probably be okay.

Travel Log - Washington

Today is our last full day in Washington and the plan was to take it relatively easy as we have a solid +14h drive home to Port Elgin tomorrow. The plan was to get up and hit Georgetown University to check out the bookstore and then a quick hop back to the mall to finish […]

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